Recently, I have been in an emotional spiral. It’s not from any one thing and I accept it as a normal reaction of the human condition and my personality. And as I have aged and the directions of my life have found their path and the questions answered, the orbit of these melancholy feelings is more elliptical. I think it started as I got in to watching all these shows and documentaries about the 60’s 70’s that are based in truth and help me understand historically just what was truly going on while I was innocently trying to make my car go faster, or get a member of the opposite sex interested in me. Ignorance is truly bliss. Take the Kennedy assassination. That horrific murder has made me and my little brother speculate and wonder what really happened for the last 58 years. Any one not born then may not understand the intensity of those tragic few days, but it was PTSD for the world, and especially us two kids. Other generations have had their own end of innocence, RFK, MLK, Malcolm X, Tainted Tylenol, 911, John Lennon, Selena, Iraq, global warming, rigid political correctness, and this horrendous pandemic. Fill in your own blank here_______. Then a sad epiphany. I will never get to witness world peace, and is it even possible? If Jesus Christ knocked on my door, would I believe it? Would I want some kind of miracle proof? You’re gonna have to turn this water into wine buddy, and where did you get those sandals? As I steadily move towards my 7th decade, and watch some of my friends contract illnesses and health issues that has lead to or may end up taking their lives I realize how fragile it all is, and how fortunate my short straw has not been picked yet. How lucky I still feel and am to be born in America, a country where most, but not all, can pursue their dreams. One person can change the world, but most can’t. Now I want to change my world, through my mind. To trust laying down my sword and to try and accept and love everyone I cross paths with. A new tolerance. I secretly, maybe not so secretly, fall in love with the person in the viewfinder, now I want to see if I can extend it beyond the finder. To be curious and loving towards every living thing except flies, roaches and mosquitos. Maybe this is the lesson I must learn to be prepared to leave this planet to a new world. Who knows? So that’s my internal speech I share with you this Thanksgiving, the people that have supported me, and are helping me achieve my goals. A heartfelt hug and a handshake. And look don’t worry about me, I have stopped watching those documentaries and starting watching cooking and baking shows. The future looks bright.
Happy Full Moon
**Leigh Going to Sleep**
Over the years I have made many images of Leigh. She was vivacious and sharp. Her son Daniel is a very good cook, and he would throw her a birthday party every year. We were over for the celebration and I made this image when she got ready for bed.
To me Lauren represents a new facet of Terlingua that I don't really know. She had a vision for a boutique hotel called the Willow House, and designed and built it. It is beautiful. I try not to sleep under a roof when I am in Terlingua, so I really don't know what it's like, but hats off to a young person with vision and drive.
As always, thank you very much for supporting me. I couldn't live here, and do what I am doing without you.
**Till Death Do Us Part**
Denise and Bill have supported my life in the desert for as long as I have been here. I've only done three photo workshops in Big Bend before realizing I didn't like doing them. Denise attended two of them. They rent one or two of the cabins built by the CCC nearly every year and I made this image on the porch. I love it for the ambiguity. I asked them to kiss, and Bill pulled Denise towards him, but his hand around her neck seems loving or threatening?. I assure you this photo is why a picture can't always be taken at face value, and why they are worth a 1000 words. I told them this image is going to be in a museum someday, and I hope in the next book for sure.